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[Table] I am a non-famous but full time road traveling stand up comedian. I live in the lower middle class of show business. AMA

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Date: 2012-12-16
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Any groupies? Or good groupie stories? It's weird, because anyone who is remotely on stage can have groupies. I started out as a wedding dj and karaoke MC and I probably got more groupie type chicks doing that sort of thing. But yeah, in the big cities, not at all. The whole audience is almost totally gone in 4 minutes, but in the small towns and the colleges. It's no problem. Best one ever is a girl I went home with and after we had sex she just sat there and ate an entire piece of blank printer paper. Like it was made of taffy.
Whaaat? Blank printer paper? Yeah. Just a regular piece of paper. Blank white. She ripped it off piece by piece and ate it whole.
I also once shared a rented condo for a week with a blind comedian who used to order prostitutes ask me to describe what they looked like to him and then he would always chicken out and send them home without doing anything. The prostitutes would always be pissed at ME, because they assumed I told the blind guy they were too ugly to fuck, but really, he was just a chickenshit.
Maybe she needed more fiber in her diet? That's all I got. I gave her a copy of Moby Dick but she was allergic to seafood.
There's something about the atmosphere of a wedding that gets chicks in the mood. i get more groupies at weddings than at most other events/functions. Oh of course, they're INSIDE a romantic comedy - that's vagina fuel.
Blank printer paper? I thought at first you meant blank blotter paper...I was thinking hey this chick sounds kinda cool. That would have been cool... alas...
Crazy, you were in it. Haha.
Maybe she wanted to do something insane in the hopes that it'd end up in your act? I don't know, I think she was just a paper eating nut.
Did you nut in the nut? I had an earth shattering feargasm.
Don't be embarrassed. You are a good looking young man. Love, grandma. ; ) AW I'm so glad they have Reddit in Heaven or Purgatory.
Your name is familiar! Don't remember if I've seen you before live or for something else. Don't be embarrassed. Get yourself out there. It's how you go from "lower middle class" to "middle middle class." It's possible, I've been around haha! Thankyou very much. You have a kind way about you. You would have made a nice nun with an attitude.
This is reddit. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Haha. If you wanna see people who should be embarrassed, look at spacedicks. Hahaha. I may never look back,...
I checked some of your videos - pretty funny stuff. Thanks a great deal man, I'm shocked and thankful of how much Reddit has come out and helped me out today boner city.
You look like Matt Lawrence. You are the 36th person to say that.
Lol. Honestly, you are a good looking guy. I'm a grandma so... Hey. I like all kind of ma's.
Ha! That's actually weirdly accurate. Good luck to you! Thankyou very much - the psychic comic
Just remember, when you gaze into the /spacedicks abyss, it gazes back into you. And then it flings poo in your eyes out of spite, screaming "made you blink, fagget!" It's probably for the best if you just avoid that place entirely. Dude. One small step for dicks, one giant leap for cockkind.
No way!! It's a compliment, honest. Oh I take it as one!
Have you ever totally shut down a heckler? If so, how? :) Oh man. One time in Rochester New Hampshire an older woman who was in a black out was heckling me with "You suck! I can't believe I rushed here, you suck!!!" She was wearing a tiger print shirt, so. I basically made drunk tiger jokes for 5 minutes until she gets up and leaves, the crowd cheered. The problem was she walked out the door and into the woods and no one could find her. She maybe ran off to be with other jungle cats.
Are there much drugs in the lower middle class of show business? And how do you feel about Katt Williams going crazy lately? I'd like another comedian's point of view on it. Drinking and drugs are abundant. As recently as 5 or 6 years ago drinking was the thing, but it seems like weed is slowly taking over as the main thing that majority of comedians partake in. I'm not surprised about Katt Williams, I've never met him, but at the risk of sounding cliche, comedians are flawed people. Not just comedians, but actors, singers, guitar players. There's a little stripper inside us all. A little messed up piece of our soul that requires a whole lot of stranger love that we will put ourselves through a lot to get.
And, I've noticed a lot of people have one drug or vice and stick to it. "I drink." "I smoke weed." "I take pills." "I gamble." It's rare that people pair them up, it does happen. And they usually become legends (ie. Artie Lange)
What do you do when people don't laugh?? I saw an amateur comedian not long ago and felt awful that he wasn't funny. When people don't laugh you just keep on going. It's hard to do when you're in the first few years of the career, but after a while you can handle it. Although, sometimes, especially when you have to work clean at some workplace type gig, the silence can be murderous.
When you say work clean what do you mean? No booze? Also, who are you? Had to delete that one sorry. Clean means, no swearing, no drugs no racial stuff. The clean gigs pay a lot more and they take place during the week usually so they're are coveted. I have a clean and dirty version of my act, but none of my jokes or punchlines really rely on a swear, but some of the topics are just off limits at certain places because they don't want to get sued. I like to write clean and dirty, the goal for me is to always be writing a lot so I'm never worried about having material for something.
I don't know why you had to delete that comment, but just so you know if you want to change a comment there's a little 'edit' button in grey writing below your comments. Just figured that out, thankyou sir!
No problem! Could I, if it's not too much trouble, ask for a joke in return, please? Dance, monkey, dance! Search me on youtube! plus I told a joke earlier...
No swearing in a stand up bit or talking about sex got it. How common is it for someone to request this? How much does your regular bit rely on sex or other profane material? What is the strangest request you've gotten in regards to a "Don't talk about ___ "? This question really requires a long answer, but to shorten it: it's very common once you get out of "stand up as a dream" and into the actual "stand up as job". It's easier to find work at clubs on the weekends, but the high schools, corporations and fundraisers are what keep you working during the week. These people will often ask you to refrain from topics like: race, homosexuality, heavy sexual reference, drugs, just overall "bad" stuff. It's not always because they're super uptight people (they usually are) but it's all about not getting sued and all the crazy harrassment training they get. These gigs also pay about 5 to 6 times more on average than the gigs at the clubs so comics jump at the chance to do them. When I first started out I heard that Drew Carey had a dirty and clean version of his act and I always tried to do that. I don't know if it has anything to do with the gigs, but for some reason most comics start out dirty and get cleaner over their careers. Personally, I'm not filthy, but I'm not as clean as a guy like Brian Regan. I like to say "fuck" as much as anyone.
How much do you make a year? I'm assuming you don't pay taxes on a lot of it, do you? Do you supplement your income in any way? Do you sell merch or albums? Right now I probably make about the same as an elementary school teacher, only I don't have health insurance and i don't get summers off. (although summers are a notoriously slow time in the comedy business) I supplement my income with merch like t-shirts and I also have an album. I have a podcast, a twitter account, an instagram, a website. It's a full time job keeping track of where you are going and when, and being a little businessman with the merch and shit on the side. But you can usually double your money with t-shirts and cd's. A lot of comics have day jobs, I do not, however I am not above an odd job here or there. If someone wants to pay me a few hundred bucks to help them move a piano or something, I do it. People sometimes call comedians to do things like this because they know we're not doing anything at all during the day and we're fun to hang out with. I've also done a few (small time) TV commercials in the past year and some acting work.
That's pretty funny, hiring a comic as an inspired day laborer because they're fun to be around. It's a good idea really, even though, some comics aren't fun to be around haha.
Do you know any famous people that think you are funny? Steven Wright thinks I'm funny. Also, Colin Quinn thinks I'm funny.
Actually I should say "thought" I doubt they know who I am.
THAT is cool. Two of the funniest people in the comedy universe, those two. You got big ones. Best of luck to you. Thankyou man, they are both great guys I was lucky to perform before.
I saw Steven wright fucking BOMB in Boston about 8 years ago. I felt wicked bad for him, cause he is funny, just had a shitty night. It happens to everybody sometimes. It's even tougher for a guy like Wright because he can't just start talking to the crowd like "Hey, where you from?"
Has anyone been offended by your jokes? What was their reaction, and how did you handle it? It's impossible to do this for any length of time and not offend anyone, but I try and stay away from truly hurting anyone's feelings. It's weird because sometimes a joke about a dog dying or something random can be made into this tragically funny story. But if the person at the show has a dog that is about to die, or has recently died, they may have the reaction that it ruins their whole night and they want to cry, or it may shine a humorous light on the situation and make them smile, so, just like most of comedy, it's a tightrope.
Who's the most famous person you opened for? I've worked with Jim Gaffigan, Colin Quinn, Steven Wright, Gary Gulman, Andy Kindler, Joe Matarese.
So...no one famous. Not really famous. Colin Quinn is pretty famous right?
I think Jim Gaffigan may be one of the highest paid comics in the country...
Those guys are famous if you are familiar with comedy. If you're a shit sniffing cock gobbler then maybe you haven't heard of them. It's so hard to hear when your ears are muffed by thighs when your gobbling cock.
How did you discover you were funny? People were often telling me to try stand up, that is a big sign. If people are telling you something, it's usually spot on. I realized I was funny way after my friends did.
What are the crucial skills to be a good stand-up? Everyone enters with a different set of skills, some are better joke writers but can't perform well, other guys are super charismatic and great on stage but their jokes are weak. The people who do well are the people who can make it through the first few years. I'd say the biggest skill you need is bravery. And next to that tenacity, because there's a 100 nights you want to quit, but it's weird, one day you wake up and it's not as hard anymore, and its the most fun job in the world.
And next to that tenacity, because there's a 100 nights you want to quit, but it's weird, one day you wake up and it's not as hard anymore, and its the most fun job in the world. That's the same chemical the brain emits right before we die. I believe this to be true. And right when you reach a toilet just before shitting your pants.
So democrat atheists that dig Carl Sagen will do good on stage? Always.
You go to Kansas often? No but I love their basketball program, I would love to have some shows there. I am obsessed with hoop, I always have been.
How often do you write new material? (Over the years, working in a comedy club, I often saw comics who had the same set year after year after year.) How many times do you do a new joke that may have bombed before you remove it completely? Do you get tired of the same jokes? I try and add new jokes constantly, at least one new bit a week. However, I probably only actually really get a new bit once a month because the others will be weak and I'll drop them. When you're doing a gig for money and it's a comedy club, you're tempted to try and kill and do your "Greatest Hits" as a most comics refer to it, so you get invited back. They assume most people in the crowd haven't seen them. I assume they have, because I used to see comedy that way, if I liked a guy I saw him every time he came to town. I get tired of some of my older jokes, but I still do them in many situations, I'm not well known enough now that people know my whole act. However, if you see me twice, you won't get the same exact show both times ever. I'll try a joke for a month before removing it, but then a year later I may try it again, and sometimes it turns out to that you just needed a year to grow into that joke.
Nice to know that your show is always different! Even when shows are the same, I often found myself laughing over and over again. Good jokes are good jokes are good jokes. You'll have to let me know if you ever venture to the midwest. Yes! Please go to facebook.com/willnoonancomic or @willnoonan on twitter and stay in touch.
Did you ever see the Louie episode with Doug Stanhope playing a middle of the road comedian who has sort of given up on life? And if so, do you have any comments on it? I loved that because I work with the real life version of that guy sometimes. He had a line like "I'm in a bar in New Hampshire tomorrow," I do a lot of those too. In any area of show business, there's some really scary ways things could end. Sometimes you gotta try to stay away from a certain partying cycle that can get toxic.
Why is Louis C.K. often referred to as the "comic's comic"? What was it like the first time you met someone else who was funny and how did it make you met that person who was way funnier than you? How often do you meet people with a similar sense of humor as you (in and outside the industry)? Louis C.K. gets love from everybody pretty much so the title doesn't totally fit, but the term "comic's comic" usually refers to someone who has a dark but clever perspective. Comedians really value and admire well crafted darkness and filth.
How did you get started? Basically, after discovery you were some what funny, did you try and refine your skill set or did you just jump right into amateur nights? I think I spent 2 or 3 months trying to write 5 good minutes, then I went to an open mic night at a club. They guy there told me I could get 5 minute spots on the weekends for handing out flyers outside for 2 hours before the show, I did that for about 2 of 3 years. The key is to get on stage constantly, like every single night of the week.
A follow-up about your life now. Is life on the road what you expected, and how much of your free time is not spent on your career? "The Road" is this relative thing now, because it's not as much like the old days. Especially for me. I work the Northeast and the East Coast mostly, so I do a whole lot of driving around. Hours upon Hours upon hours of driving. I like staying in the hotels, but it's not totally like I expected. Some nights on "the road" you have those legendary fun evenings where they stars align and you remember why you became a comic. Other times you are just sitting in hotel room 35 miles from anything interesting and you don't like any of the other people and you just miss home and you almost kind of panic for a second haha. But, I've only been doing it long enough that I still really enjoy it. I love hanging out with the crowd after shows usually. I don't spend much of my free time doing non comedy things. Even right now I have free time and I'm doing this.
One last question. How do you feel about youtube as a platform for stand-up comedians? Basically, putting video copies of your show up, and gaining ad revenue and advertising at the same time. I'm all for it. I have a youtube page www.youtube.com/willnoonan and I put all kinds of shit up there. Stand up clips, but also just weird iPhone stuff for fun. I think we are lucky to have access to the people who want comedy, so why not just make more and more and more.
I like it! You would be fun to see live. Thanks, hopefully that can happen one day and we can laugh about this and talk reddit.
Have you ever worked with Mike D'Ambra? I think he mostly works on the East Coast. Funniest motherfucker I've ever seen, and a super-nice guy. Clean or blue? Lots of people told me to go clean at first, but I just didn't have it in me. What parts of the country have you toured in? Favorite places to work? Least favorite? Do you think it's almost cliche that damn-near every comic is an alcoholic/druggie/emotional wreck? How many working comics have you met were just normally, content people? I think it's good to not be TOO clean, and not be TOO blue. but that's all personal preference. The clean guys make more money, but have less street cred. It's your choice really. I'm mostly in the Northeast US, but I've done LA and Vegas too. Ohio. I 'd like to do the Midwest more. My favorite state to work in is probable Maine. Great people and the shows are usually fun.
Tell us some good road stories. I know you have some. Here's mine. I got a lot of time, but that's all relative.
I will hopefully be in Michigan in the Spring, I keep saying it, but if you ask you're local club to book me, they probably will. Thanks for the support too, I can't thank reddit enough.
You're right. 90% of hecklers are drunk women. A drunk woman is the worst type of audience member, a bachelorette party is just a group of that.
I told a couple good road stories in an earlier post, scan down there and look for the word "blind" and "hooker"
I don't see as much local live comedy as i want because a) fucking hecklers and b) vicarious embarrassment. I need to get over the second one, but how do you feel about hecklers? PLEASE GO SEE US! The comedy industry will die if everyone stays in and watches us on Youtube instead. Or worse goes to Karaoke. I feel bad about the embarassment thing. It does happen there's no way around it. My advice would be to order your tickets ahead of time and asked to be sat away from the stage where the comedian cannot see you, people do it all the time and its not an odd request. Or at least DO NOT SIT UP FRONT if you don't like being looked at. Even if the comic doesn't talk to you, you're usually in the light the whole time. Hecklers do suck, I don't get heckled much myself and I rarely get into an angry thing with them. I'm not an angry comic at all. But they exist, if you go to a Friday early show, you're probably ok. The later the show, the more likely the heckles. Think about the comic too, certain comics attract certain crowds ya know. same with clubs. However, some of the greatest moments come from those assholes out there.
Where the ladies at? What do you mean? Funny ones? I love Maria Bamford and Kristin Wiig.
Also Chelsea Peretti and Amy Schumer! TRUE. Sarah Silverman, Morgan Murphy, and many more.
When did you take the leap and quit your job to do comedy? What do you do to eat on the cheap but stay remotely healthy while on the road? Worst road gig: go! It's a really long story but I didn't take a leap I was pushed. I had been doing comedy for about 3 years when I lost my job and had to move back in with my parents, I continued to do comedy while I looked for a job and thank goodness (and my saintly irish parents), it just started to become my job. Worst Road gig was the blind guy story I wrote about earlier, next to that is probably the time a drunk biker wanted to kill me, because he thought I was someone else and couldn't be convinced otherwise and I had to be rushed out this kitchen into a waiting car and driven away like the president during an assassination attempt.
Thank you for your reply. As a fella with aspirations to make tens of dozens of dollars annually I wanna say godspeed and good luck with your career. Haha thanks man. You too. Excelsior. Stay in touch.
What advice would you give to aspiring comedians in regards to reading a crowd and developing a routine? You must get on stage. Record it, and listen to it. You gotta write 5 to 7 minutes and just work on it for a year before you start writing more, get that tight and work on your fundamentals.
You think that's the right way to go about it? Not do any other material for an entire year? I've only been performing for about 6 months and the material I performed at my first open mic was god awful. What I've got now is probably a lot better than what I started with. I couldn't imagine sticking with the same stuff. Do you agree with the notion of constantly writing and performing new stuff? Or hone the first 5 minutes you've got? Well, not EXACTLY the first set! But I mean, take like 3 or 4 months and try and get a solid 5. Add little things in here and there, but just get that shit solid as hell. The first tight 5 minutes becomes like the foundation for your whole career.
What comedians do you like? What is stopping you from becoming famous? Nothing is stopping me, I'm getting a little more known every year, through old fashioned "doing shitloads of shows" The goal is to not be "famous", I'd like to be a financially secure comedian, however, that becomes WAYYY easier when you're famous. But the ultimate goal is to do stand up comedy in front of as many Americans and Earthlings as possible.
Eddie Murphy doing Gary Shandling would be something I would pay a lot of money to watch So true. Both comedically and sexually.
That's pretty much my list. I will give you a listen good sir. You're doing what I want to try one day. I have a dream, a dream to do stand-up. Just once at least. When you talked about how your friends thought you should do stand-up and how sometimes you are the last one to catch on to what others are saying about you really resounded with me. Do you have any shows in Toronto by chance? Or China even? I would love to come to both of those places man, it's oddly easy, but if you call your local club and ask them to book me, they probably will haha.
Has your podcast changed your career? Improved it or whatever, people coming to shows who specifically are there to see you because of the podcast? The podcast has helped a lot, but mostly in the way of talking. I do main by myself in the car usually, so it's great practice just talking for an hour. Joe Rogan said it best when he said "Podcasting is cross training for stand up"
Kettlebells, son. You know it haha, all day.
Did you ever have stage fright starting out? I had stage fright a whole lot starting out. Especially going on stage hungover from the night before. Like anything else, after you do it 1,000 times, it loses most of the scariness. If not, it may be time to think about something else ha.
How do you feel about telling people you do comedy for a living? How do people react? People always react in a nice way, but it leads to a real life AMA that lasts too long for comfort haha.
Maybe i missed it but whats your name? Will Noonan.
Your names Will too. Let's be Will2NotOK.
Who are your favorite comedians right now? I am huge fan of: Bill Burr, Greg Fitzsimmons, Norm MacDonald, Jerry Seinfeld, Kevin Hart, Chad Daniels, Doug Stanhope... and many many more. It's a good time for comedy right now. Dave Attel too.
As an undecided agnostic that digs Carl Sagan about to probably start a standup career after this very thread, I will get back to you on confirming this. No but for real, Mr Noonan. I'm at an interesting stage in my life and some really weird paths are being taken. If I hit it big, be sure to remember that one kid on Reddit who was inspired by this AMA to get it moving. Everything you've said has been right in line with most of my ideas about the comedy world and honestly most of that has been keeping me away. But you gotta stop being scared sometime. Anyway, onto a question because I've already wasted enough of your time with my personal story, What was your first gig like? Any unforgettable moments? Did you stutter? Long pauses? Those are some of my biggest fears. When I did my first gig I remember being extremely shaky. My hands were shaking a ton and my mouth was dry. I had like 3 beers and a sip of my friends gin and tonic. I had worked really hard on my 5 minutes though so it didn't really go too badly, I got some nice laughs. I remember the comedian after me who was probably like 6 months into his "career" was like "damn the new guy was funny" But it's kind of an out of body experience. My advice would be to practice it a lot the week before, so when you're up there distracted by all the lights and people and your own voice on the microphone, you'll know your jokes well. It's kind of like losing your virginity, or playing craps at a casino, in the sense, that the build up anxiety is really worse than the act of doing it. And just remind yourself that you're gonna feel really awesome later and even if you bomb, you will get a lot of respect. And you'll deserve it because it takes balls to do comedy. And sometimes a little gin.
he even comes back and answers a question after he's left. Thanks for doing this. Come to Syracuse sometime. I'll bring pineapples. I'd love to, I actually think I will be in Syracuse in 2013.
Have you seen Sleepwalk With Me. Yes I have. That's actually a lot like my life right now. I even drove a Volvo Station Wagon until a few months ago. Great movie.
As someone whose stepped his toe into the waters of standup twice (killed once, bombed miserably the second time, still recovering), has it been your experience that trying the new joke again on a different crowd, or re-tooling it makes any difference? Hell yes man. It's a looong trial and error process, you can't judge a joke on one crowd, or even 10. Get back up there brother, and keep on doing it. If you enjoyed killing, it's not gonna happen again unless you get back to work. You can do it man, lemme know if I can help
Do you listen to wtf w/Marc Maron? Also what advice do you give people that want to try standup/how do you begin writing jokes? Ps you're hot. I love WTF with Marc Maron. The advice would be to watch and listen to a lot of stand up and try and write 5 minutes, don't kill yourself if you write some bad jokes, every one does, lose the fear of failure because it will become something you know how to deal with thoughtlessly one day. Jerry Seinfeld writes amazing jokes. So does Stephen Wright. If you watch them you can see the structure and try them out. If you want to e-mail me some of your jokes I'll look at them and try and help you out if I can. ps thanks ; )
Where do I learn about the "lingo" or "shop talk" of comedy? Joke structure, set ups, bits,...Look everywhere online and can't find it. Been trying to write a 5 min set for my local open mic night. And I LOVE watching comedians WORK their craft and make it look effortless. I don't where you live, but start going to open mic nights and hanging around. Buy "Comedian" the documentary about Jerry Seinfeld and listen to the commentary as well. Also there's a great paperback book called "I Killed" that I read every time I get depressed about stand up, it's by Ritch Shyder.
Thanks! I've always wanted to try- I feel like doing some research about it first and didnt really know where to start. Ill pm my email address. You can go to willnoonan.com and contact me there if you don't want to give out your address.
How do you suggest I approach open mics as an amateur? How many joke in a 5 min bit etc? thanks. Awesome question. Most comics, myself included make the mistake of trying to fit 20 jokes into 5 minutes and end up talking too fast. Just start with 5,6, or 7 short bits, like a minute and 30 seconds long, and be ready to have one to ditch in case you go long. Open with your best one. and finish with your second best one.
Thanks! Is it better to be rehearsed or is it acceptable to have notes when starting out? It's acceptable to have notes, but I find I do better if I leave the notes in my pocket and try to rely on my memory, it forces you to think on your feet. I keep an old broken microphone on my desk. I don't do it much anymore, but when I first started out, I used to stand in my room and talk into that microphone and do shows for my wall. It helps you get comfortable with it.
TELL ME A JOKE , nah, can you? It'd be awesome, you sound like a nice guy…. so.. please? Damn. Ok. Here's a line from my act...
Hypothetically I smoke weed. "Hypothetically" is my favorite word to use when it comes to marijuana, because "high" is how I get, and "pathetically" is how I feel, when I look at my checking acct.
We got a funny guy over here! Nice, man. Awww shucks. Thanks, you rock
Last updated: 2012-12-21 06:17 UTC
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Amazon Deals: https://amzn.to/30UnQUD Bellagio Hotel and Casino in LAS VEGAS Bellagio is a resort, luxury hotel and casino on the Las Vegas Strip in Paradise... Amazon Deals: https://amzn.to/30UnQUDThe Venetian Las Vegas Hotel and CasinoThe Venetian Las Vegas is a luxury hotel and casino resort located on the Las Veg... Vintage Las Vegas at its best. Fantastic color as we journey down the Las Vegas strip with views of the Desert Inn, the Desert Spa, billboards for El Morocc... Standard room-king bed. Hey guys! In todays video I stay at the cheapest room at the Luxor. If you want to see the other videos of my previous stays at hotels here in Las Vegas, che... This video is about STAYCATION THE RIO HOTEL & CASINO EXPERIENCE...In this episode StolinBeauty & Co Host JRich visit The Rio Hotel & Casino during their Sta... My walk around the Bellagio Hotel 4k. In this Bellagio hotel tour, we have a look at the shops, casino area, hotel lobby/check in area, as well as the Bellag... Post your comments on: https://top-buffet.com/commentsList of the best Vegas resort pools: https://goo.gl/caJkR9Vegas Reviews and Video Updates on: https:/... Bellagio Hotel is one of the famous luxurious hotels of Las Vegas. You can see the lobby, casino, mall, pool and Bellagio fountain in this video. First music... What's going on above the Luxor Hotel and Casino Las Vegas Strip ? Interesting formation being displayed over the famous LUXOR BeamDNA - Deoxyribonucleic ac...

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